Bob & Ted and Carol & Alice

Until recently, I haven’t given the issue of gay marriage much thought. Although I inevitably came out and divorced, I was married to a woman for many years. I have no desire to marry again, no matter the gender of my partner. That said, the passion of the people demonstrating against gay marriage leaves me perplexed. I do not understand why they care so much. To me, their fervent obsession seems so misplaced. Often they say they are protesting either for religious reasons, or because they find the thought of marriage between two people of the same gender distasteful.

Just because something is against your religious laws does not mean it should be against federal, state, or local law. Consumption of alcohol is against many religions. As are many sex acts; gay or straight. Not to mention cutting one’s hair, shaving, remaining uncircumcised, dancing, playing cards, watching television, working on Sunday, eating on certain Saturdays, eating meat on Fridays, eating meat at all, birth control, masturbation, divorce, electricity…

I find the double-knit polyester worn by many of the protestors distasteful and wish it was outlawed. Does that mean it should be? No more than anything else I find distasteful, such as shooting deer and geese, golf, Mel Gibson, Thomas Kinkade, or the colors mauve, peach, and country blue.

Usually, the people demonstrating against gay marriage lean to the right politically. Generally, the right wants the government to stay out of their lives as much as possible. That is all gay people are asking regarding marriage.

Even our president seems to have failed me on this issue. He has stated more than once that he thinks the issue of gay marriage should be left up to the states. If the laws that came out of the civil rights movement had been left up to the states, black people might still be under Jim Crow laws in many states; certainly not being elected president.

For me, legalizing gay marriage has little to do with religion, taste, or even love. We all know couples, gay and straight, devoted to each other for life. Marriage doesn’t change that devotion. Legalizing gay marriage has to do with protection. It has to do with protecting what happens with one’s taxes, health insurance, Social Security benefits, retirement benefits, property, and savings. It has to do with who is allowed to visit you in the emergency room or intensive care. It has no more to do with Jesus than it does with Apollo, Zeus, or Athena.

Mother Theresa was quoted as saying, “Jesus said to love one another. He didn’t say to love those most like us.” Words all protestors on both sides of any issue should consider.