Boyhood

"The moment seizes you."

                         "It's always right now."

An Unintentional Prank

There are seven containers on my little old stove's shelf. Two old-fashioned sugar shakers. One contains sugar; the other Splenda. One small sea salt grinder. And four large shakers. One for salt, one for pepper, one for Mrs. Dash, and one that appears to hold cinnamon. Today, Jacob fancied some cinnamon toast. Instead, he had cayenne pepper with his butter and sugar. :-D

Daffodils in the Snow

Doesn't "Daffodils in the Snow" sound like the title of a country song? Or jonquils; or narcissus. They all look the same to me.

It was 85 degrees a couple days ago. Sigh.

Witmer Park

A particularly beautiful Monday morning drive to work this week.

If You Want to Worship Someone, I Recommend Van Morrison

Don't wanna discuss it
Think it's time for a change
You may get disgusted
Start thinking that I'm strange
In that case, I'll go underground
Get some heavy rest
And never have to worry
About what is worst
Or what is best

I really don't want to discuss it, but if it's waking me up at 5:00 a.m., then apparently I have something to say. That chicken sandwich maker got everyone all riled up with what a Madison Avenue advertising agent might have dreamt up and the media fed right into it. Sure, one is free to run one's business any way he sees fit, within the law. See http://www.owldolatrous.com/?p=288 for a cohesive statement on that.

However, religion-based politics have no place in the rational world. Here is what I believe:

I think the bible, the koran, and all other religious texts people bandy about in the name of morality were simply created by ancient politicos charged with controlling the masses, or, quite often, controlling women. All religion, modern or otherwise, is based in the same fear that created Athena, Zeus, Apollo, and Thor. It's just more mythology. Not only was Jesus just another Roman god, it's likely he was simply a metaphor. A metaphor that spoke in metaphors.

Not trusting the general population to act morally, or understand that in ancient times it could be deadly to eat certain foods, the people in charge deemed many activities against their god's will. It was a solution brainstormed in an old-timey conference room; a problem solved.

So, when you try to tell me I am less than, or you are more than, based on your religious views, I think you are being ridiculous, not to mention irrational.

As free as you are to think and feel and act and run your business the way you do, your argument has no legs and I have no time for it; especially if you are trying to get elected based on all those myths.

Because the bible told you so is not a valid reason to do anything. To me, it's the same as saying because the Twilight Saga told me so.

So much more evil than good has been done in the name of religion that it's no longer trustworthy. And psychiatrists and war profiteers have been reaping the benefits ever since.

Where I put my penis, and what I do with other consenting adults' genitalia is my business. The gender of who I might choose to marry has no more bearing on your marriage than the color of their eyes. Not that I would ever consider marriage again.

And if you want me to vote to put you in charge of solving problems, local, national, or world, do not tell me your first response to a tragedy is to talk to your imaginary friend up on high.

Thank you.

Hedwig

The Brown and I got to revisit one of my favorites last Thursday and have plans to go again this week. StageWest has once again outdone itself with an amazing production and wonderful cast.

The New York Times got it wrong, though. In their original rave review, they called it, "a thought-provoking musical about the quest for individuality." To me, it's a thought-provoking musical about the quest for one's other half using the division of the city of Berlin, and Germany's eventual reunification, as a metaphor for the human condition.

And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town

L is for Long

Well it took two weeks of waiting for the dealer to have it ready to sell, but here is my new baby. A 2004 Audi A8L. No check engine light so far. My favorite thing on this one? Air conditioned seats! The old one was probably a little more fun to drive, though.

Gross

"The empty vessel makes the loudest sound." ~ William Shakespeare

[title of show]

The Brown and I went to see the StageWest production of [title of show] last night at the Stoner. With its post-modern premise, fun songs and dialogue, great cast, and an obscure reference for just about everyone, including 525,600, Shields & Yarnell, not to mention Kitty Carlisle-Hart, I was thoroughly entertained. Not one drowsy moment, which is a great litmus test for how much I liked a show.

Spring 2011

Daffodils and several other perennials pop up like weeds in my backyard every spring. While I can't take any credit for this, as I neither planted them nor do I do anything to ensure their continued survival, I really love it.

Bad Offer

Just because something is legal, doesn't make it right.

Look at this actual credit card offer from First Premier Bank in Sioux Falls, SD. Not only does it charge a 36% APR, but the first annual fee is $175. After that, the annual fee is $49 plus an annual servicing fee of $174. And that's only if your account is in good standing. Sickening.

Magic Deposits

My bank does not have a bricks and mortor building in my state. Most of my money gets into my account via direct deposit, which is fine, but for the occasional paper check, I had to deposit them via snail mail. Now, I can simply take a picture of the front and back of the check with my iPhone to deposit a check. I'm sure the people who pine for days of yore will resist this with all their might, butI find it way cool. I've used it a couple times and it worked great. Not that there's much call for depositing actual checks these days.

Beebo Brinker Chronicles

At my friend Todd's urging, I stopped in to the Stoner theater Sunday afternoon to see the final performance of The Beebo Brinker Chronicles. He did his usual fine job as Jack, and Makha Mthembu cracked me up in every scene as Marcie. My favorite line: "Stick out your tongue; I want to feel 12 again!"

Based on the groundbreaking, award-winning pulp novels of the 50s and 60s, The Beebo Brinker Chronicles follows the lives and loves of friends in pre-Stonewall Greenwich Village. Beth and Laura, secret lovers in college, still pine for each other. Before they can reunite, they find themselves entangled in a web spun by Beebo Brinker, a butch denizen of the underground bar scene. The play, originally produced by Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner, celebrates the era when “the love that dares not speak its name” began breaking the old rules.

Tilt

 

Discovered my new dining room table is also a tilt-top after I got it home which made it quite a bargain. Especially since it came with three original leaves. What do you think of the Heywood Wakefield hutch?

Samoa vs. Caramel deLites

Your local Girl Scout council has the option to choose between two bakeries when ordering their cookies. Apparently, the council that serves Des Moines switched bakeries a few years back. Now, the delicious Samoas have evolved into the inferior Caramel deLites. I am not happy. Samoas contain dark chocolate and are far superior to the wimpy milk chocolate-based Caramel deLites. Perhaps we should take to the streets a la Egypt and Libya, or pull a Wisconsin and head to the state house.

Atherton Show at Raygun

Starting Friday February 4, 2011, Neal will be showing approximately 20 large-format photos at Raygun in the East Village.

I think the picture of Cole from the last showing at Andy's Frame Shop is in this one too.

Most shops in the East Village will be open until 8 PM that evening, so drop by for shopping and art, beginning around 5 PM on Friday:

Raygun (formerly Smash)
400 E. Locust St., Ste. 12
Des Moines, IA 50309

Too Pretty

Doesn't my breakfast fruit plate from Kimmie look too pretty to eat?

Welcome to my Filthy Mind Part III in 3D

Every pitcher is a catcher. Every quarterback is a wide receiver.

South Park Does the Book of Mormon

A pilgrimage to NYC this Spring seems in order.

Click on the title of this post to go to the official website.

RIP Pete Postlewaite

Pete may very well be best known, however anonymously, as the person speaking at the beginning of Chumbawamba's Tubthumping (I get knocked down, but I get up again...). It is a quote from one of my favorite movies, Brassed Off.

This band behind me'll tell you that that trophy means more to me than owt else in the whole world. But they'd be wrong! Truth is, I THOUGHT it mattered. I thought that MUSIC mattered. But does it bollocks? Not compared to how people matter. Us winning this trophy won't mean bugger-all to most people. But us refusing it - like what we're going to do now - well, then it becomes news, doesn't it?

Rent it if you havent' seen it. He is wonderful in it.

Back to full blog: http://cliquenick.blogspot.com/

RIP Blake Edwards

My all time favorite line in any Blake Edwards movie is from S.O.B. It was delivered by the late great Robert Preston as Dr. Irving Finegarten.

"I could sue you for calling me that, Polly! A shyster is a disreputable lawyer. I'M a QUACK!"

Christmas 2010

Burlesque

I kept my expectations low for Burlesque because everything I had heard pointed to a predictable formula film. Cole and I went yesterday, and it's actually pretty great. Favorite line? "Strippers? I should wash your mouth out with Jaegermeister." Christina does a great cover of Something's Got a Hold on Me which has always been one of my favorite Etta James classics.

Be Yourself Tonight

I lucked into the best new paintings over the weekend. This one's by my friend Neal (Dennis Atherton). I have several of his photographs, but this is my first painting. He and Brian moved in together, so had a tag sale of their overflow items from merging two households. There was a moment of panic when someone else had first dibs on the two items I couldn't live without, but it all worked out in the end. Thank you Strummer's mom Bethany for not buying them, and thank you Neal and Brian for the bargain basement prices. The extra special bonus came when I was carrying it out to the car and read its title on the back of the stretcher; "Be Yourself Tonight." Not coincidently, that is also the name of my favorite Eurythmics album which features "(It's Alright) Baby's Coming Back" and "Better to Have Lost in Love (Than Never to Have Loved at All)"; not to mention "I Love You Like a Ball and Chain."

Dry Dam

They opened the gates to the Center Street dam to do some maintenance. Isn't the power of that little jagged concrete wall awesome? The river is finally low enough that the sidewalks that run along at river level are visible again.

Dennis Atherton Gallery Showing Features Cole

Neal took a beautiful picture of Cole at Pride 2008. While the Iowa State Fair committee wasn't impressed quite enough, I love it. What a difference a haircut makes.

TRHS Does Rent 2010

The Brown and I attended a very satisfying production of Rent at Roosevelt high school last night.

I have seen the touring production of “Rent” more than a dozen times (I’ve lost count), and went to the movie three times on opening day. My love for the play may mean my opinion is a bit unbiased. That said, I would never rave about a production I found disappointing.

My slightly lowered expectations of a high school presentation were blown out of the water from scene one through to the end. Jordan as Mark was wonderful throughout, particularly during the touching “Halloween.” I’ve seen Roger played both more sad than angry, and more angry than sad. Wes struck a nice balance between the two. I prefer Roger angry; it seems more real to me. I loved the “I’m Roger” moment. Kamillah as Mimi showed great emotion and gave the audience many touching moments.

I have seen professional productions that would have been improved with Wes or Kamillah on their stage. I’ve also seen Maureens that didn’t seem to get that “Over the Moon” is supposed to be funny. Ivy took the audience right where it needed to go. Sharane was terrific as Joanne. “Tango Maureen” and “Take Me or Leave Me” highlighted her great talent. Ricky’s acting seemed so natural and he made the affection between Collins and Angel real for the audience. The “I’ll Cover You” reprise never fails to tear me apart.

For me, Angel is the core of “Rent.” Not because of the flamboyance and energy, but because Jonathan Larson makes it clear that Angel is who we should all aspire to be like. Kind of the messiah of the play, showing everyone else the right way. Ironic that it takes a drag queen to show men and women how to be men and women. Kevin played Angel with great aplomb and immediately held the audience in his hands. Intrepid. Austin as Benny was, quite simply, perfect. Great voice, great stage presence. The ensemble brought humor and emotion to the production. The voicemails were great. I don’t know why, but “Kitten Wherever Are You?” always cracks me up. One of my litmus tests for a production is if “Will I” brings a tear to my eye and I can definitely say your production passed that test with flying colors. The full cast and ensemble number at the end was a religious experience and the audience could see and feel everyone’s emotions.

What Cheer

The Brown and I wandered over to What Cheer last weekend for the final 2010 flea market. Had the usual taco soup and loose meat sandwich, and some coconut creme pie, but no free bricks this time and Marilyn's Tap didn't seem to be open. However, I did just about have a heart attack when the guy said the watch I was looking at was $3.00. It started running while I was holding it and it turned out to be a vintage 1964 Omega Seamaster automatic 17 jewel 14 k gold filled beauty. I mailed it off to Japan today. I sold it on eBay for $250!!

I also got a walnut-veneer 50s era Lane cedar chest for my fine woolens. The weather was perfect, and it was a good cloud day to boot.

Into That Good Night

The Brown prompted me to watch Roseanne last night as I was headed to bed. It happened to be both parts of the final episode on TV Land. I think Roseanne deserves as much credit for those last ten minutes of her sitcom as anyone who has ever done anything in television. Thinking about it gives me goose bumps and watching it always makes me cry.

“Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration. Actually, I've found it's all around you. Take Leon for instance... Leon is not really as cool as I made him. He's the only gay guy I know who belongs to the Elk's Club... Then there's Scott. He really is a probate lawyer I met about a year ago and introduced to Leon. I guess I didn't get too creative there... A lot of kids have called my son a nerd but, as I told him, they called Steven Spielberg a nerd too. A lot of times nerds are really artists who just listen to the beat of a different drum... My mom came from a generation where women were supposed to be submissive about everything. I never bought into that, and I wish mom hadn't either. I wish she had made different choices. So I think that's why I made her gay. I wanted her to have some sense of herself as a woman... Oh yeah, and she's nuts... My sister, in real life, unlike my mother, is gay. She always told me she was gay, but for some reason, I always pictured her with a man. She's been my rock, and I would not have made it this far without her. I guess Nancy's kind of my hero too... Cause she got out of a terrible marriage and found a great spiritual strength. I don't know what happened to that husband of hers but in my book I sent him into outer space... When Becky brought David home a few years ago I thought, "This is wrong!" He was much more Darlene's type... When Darlene met Mark, I thought he went better with Becky... I guess I was wrong. But I still think they'd be more compatible the other way around. So in my writing, I did what any good mother would do. I fixed it...

“I lost Dan last year when he had his heart attack. He's still the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I miss him... Dan and I always felt that it was our responsibility as parents to improve the lives of our children by 50% over our own. And we did. We didn't hit our children as we were hit, we didn't demand their unquestioning silence, and we didn't teach our daughters to sacrifice more than our sons. As a modern wife, I walked a tight rope between tradition and progress, and usually, I failed, by one outsider's standards or another's. But I figured out that neither winning nor losing count for women like they do for men. We women are the one's who transform everything we touch. And nothing on earth is higher than that. My writing's really what got me through the last year after Dan died. I mean at first I felt so betrayed as if he had left me for another women. When you're a blue-collar woman and your husband dies it takes away your whole sense of security. So I began writing about having all the money in the world and I imagined myself going to spas and swanky New York parties just like the people on TV, where nobody has any real problems and everything's solved within 30 minutes. I tried to imagine myself as Mary Richards, Jeannie, That Girl. But I was so angry I was more like a female Steven Segal wanting to fight the whole world. For while I lost myself in food and a depression so deep that I couldn't even get out of bed till I saw that my family needed me to pull through so that they could pull through. One day, I actually imagined being with another man. But then I felt so guilty I had to pretend it was for some altruistic reason. And then Darlene had the baby, and it almost died. I snapped out of the mourning immediately, and all of my life energy turned into choosing life. In choosing life, I realized that my dreams of being a writer wouldn't just come true; I had to do the work. And as I wrote about my life, I relived it, and whatever I didn't like, I rearranged. I made a commitment to finish my story even if I had to write in the basement in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep. But the more I wrote, the more I understood myself and why I had made the choices I made, and that was the real jackpot. I learned that dreams don't work without action; I learned that no one could stop me but me. I learned that love is stronger than hate. And most important, I learned that God does exist. He and/or She is right inside you, underneath the pain, the sorrow, and the shame. I think I'll be a lot better now that this book is done.”

Those words destroy me every time; especially when she gets to “I lost Dan…” The image of her alone watching TV at the end of a long day is so poignant in that context. Then she had the nerve to hire Phoebe Snow to sing the theme song over the closing credits.

“If what doesn't kill us is making us stronger,
We're gonna last longer
Than that greatest wall in China
Or that rabbit with the drum
If there's one thing that I've learned
While waiting for my turn,
It's that in each life some rain falls
But you also get some sun
And we'll make out better than okay
Hear what I say
Hey, any day”

Beautiful. And then the quote by the real Lawrence of Arabia,

"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."

Stinketta at the Iowa State Fair 2010

Stinketta at the Iowa State Fair 2010

Stinketta at the Iowa State Fair 2010