Like I would really say that

Since we were flying out of Kansas City to Miami for the cruise, Jane and I spent the night before at Lynn's sister Leslie's. We got there early and had lots of fun reminiscing, listening to music, and having dinner. Leslie reminded me of the time I unintentionally brought her to tears dress shopping...

Apparently one of the cousins was getting married because we were all out frantically shopping for new formal wear. I was sitting outside a dressing room, minding my own business. Out pops Leslie in a lovely peach gown. Not being a fan of the color peach, my only comment was, "Can you dye it?" I'm sure accompanied by that look so critical that you all know and hate. At any rate, what Leslie (and the clerk) heard was, "Can you diet?" Hours later, I realized what I had said.